! HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO MY SEXY LITTLE EMAILERS !
I hope this message finds you well. I write to you from the mountains of Colorado, where time passes slower and longer than you could even imagine. I just put my hair in a sister wife braid and took my Prozac with a bit of lukewarm coffee. I’m wearing a matching sweater set from that 90s store “The Gap,” which I was duped into buying on black friday. It’s made of fake cashmere, which the executives at “The Gap” are calling “Cashsoft”— an awful texture, a bit like cardboard, sliced thin and covered in a shallow film of dog hair. The color doesn’t quite suit me either. Yet life goes on…
You on the other hand! You! I hope wherever you are you’re warm, cozy, and have access to a deep bathtub. I hope you get to sleep for 12 hours straight and watch some kind of fatty beef break down into a sauce. I’m aware it’s december, but I’m not much interested in 2023 or calling it a horrible year. Horrible things happened and wondrous ones too. The last four years have blurred together, melted down like short rib in the cosmic le creuset. I am not telling myself 2024 is our year, though it might well be. What do I know? I am tall (for a girl), healthy, and no longer interested in outcome. I’m drawn to pleasure, progress, the way those packing cubes really do make a difference when you’re stuffing a carry on…
It’s winter and wild and we’re so lucky to be alive. This was the year I had a threesome, a mini-stroke, and heart surgery (not quite in that order). I went on tour in the UK, Australia, and New Zealand (begging Love Island contestants to attend my show at every turn) I went on strike, on a plane to Argentina to film a TV series with my favorite actress Chelsea Frei. I celebrated 10 years in NYC, my 10-year college reunion in Princeton, and even saw Miss Taylor Swift Shake it Off in Denver, where just last week I did three wonderful shows at Comedy Works Downtown. Comedy works, does it love??? You tell me! Ha ha 😊
I started my U.S. tour at the beginning of December and it’s been an absolute delight so far. In 2024, the Come for Me tour continues. If you’re looking for a last minute gift for someone you love, why not get them tickets to see me perform in the new year? I’m doing shows in Seattle, Portland, Tucson, Phoenix, Los Angeles, SF, DC, Minneapolis, Vancouver, Philly, Boston, Chicago, Houston, Austin, Atlanta, and Honolulu. A bunch of dates are already sold out so grab tickets here today!
PLUS, If you get tix to see me IRL you will be able to snag some of my NEW MERCH designed by Hunter Ellenbarger of STAR QUALITY STUDIO featuring the photography of Dev Bowman. We made totes, wine keys, stickers and more! These treats will only be available at my live dates, so book your tix today baby!!!
!!!Shoutout to tote model/ rising star HANK featured in the above images!!!
As always thank you for caring about me and my work—I quite literally couldn’t do it without you!!! Just for fun, before I go, here’s a few things that tickled each of my senses this year ~
LOOK:
- these films: May December / Rotting in the Sun / Passages
- these books: Down the Drain by Julia Fox / Dead Weight: essays on Hunger and Harm by Emmeline Clein (coming in feb) / The Elissas: Three Girls, One Fate, and the Deadly Secrets of Suburbia by Samantha Leach / I’m Dancing As Fast as I Can by Barbara Gordon
- this painting
LISTEN:
FEEL:
TASTE:
breakfast: hotcakes from higher ground in Melbourne
lunch: italian on a roll from Lenwich
dinner: gorgeous small plates from Sessions Arts Club in London
SMELL:
^^^Look at me crawling into the new year with a lust for life^^^
I can’t wait to love more things in the coming months. For those curious, Seek Treatment (the podcast I do with my friend Pat Cappuccino) will be returning in the new year in a very sexy way 😊 I also plan to take long walks, long naps, and a long hard look at what makes life so la la loo loo <3
Sending you lots of love. Until 2024…
you are SUCH a good writer!! Please please one day write a book of essays. Bought my tickets to see you in Chicago!! Eeek I can’t wait for Seek Treatment to be back. Always rooting for you 💕
See you in DC. Will buy merch and would love a pic with you and your brilliance.