my sweetest sweeties !!!
good morning and welcome to monday. I’m emotional and raining (crying but make it involuntary) because this wretched year is coming to a close and it can be hard to say goodbye to even the worst things. the human brain literally makes things in the past seem good even if they were bad…….this is science to me? what I’m saying is, while I’m addicted to change (come thru apartment hunting QUEEN), I also wish things never ended and instead only started— is there someone I can talk to about this? I also feel la la li li loo (technical term) because a year doesn’t really mean anything (TakEs OnE WeEd GuMMy bEforE bED tWiCE) and is merely an arbitrary marker to give my tiny feminine brain structure aka something to cling to. Cut to my gown flailing in the wind as I grip the scaffolding outside the old UCB training center (RIP) What A year!!! more like what’s a year??? a friend once told me “but its the longest thing we have!!!” an amazing point. Anyways, I have a few more sexy little emails to write before 2020 ends, but I’m leaving tomorrow to Drive to Texas (can this bitch cool it with the road trips???) to see my fam for the holidays, so I’ll be saying goodbye to NYC (my tempestuous lover) for a few weeks. I just woke up and can’t tell if any of this makes sense I think I need to go eat a egg.
this past week I ………didn’t really do much. on tuesday I won the nobel peace prize for not drinking for 48 hours and then spent the rest of the week considering doing yoga, getting drunk, watching hideous TV, and wondering why I wasn’t as obsessed with evermore as I was with folklore…..stay tuned though because ! I am going to give it a fullllll intense listen on my 25 hour road trip before I make any DECLARATIVE statements. sidenote: does anyone know how to make time go faster? My new kink is falling asleep as early as humanly possible which could be considered…Depréssiön ? I want to live an expansive life where i am begging for each sun-kissed day to be longer but lately i am like verrrry MTV NEXT bus to each day……yesterday I googled “forgive yourself meditation” so ….I will probably be the Perfect Version of myself in a few minutes give or take. Alright I have to go pack and figure out where we are going to stop on the road trip………its so annoying when u have to stop somewhere like arkansas (no offense) butttt I can say that because I went to Christian sports camp in Arkansas for years and no one even kissed me there :(
ok I LOVE U
here are some poems I just squirted out — (sidenote I didnt think I could squirt but then I did about a year ago! fun! so u never know! ok XO)
Morning Poem #1
you’re in bed excited looking at the
guinness book of world records instagram account
showing me the teen with the longest hair in the world
the duck with the most twitter followers
I ask if you want to be in my coffin with me
whenever that happens so I don’t get too bored
we watch the tallest man and the shortest man shake handsMorning Poem #2
I delete Instagram on my phone
every few hours
so as to lessen
general despair
a lot is going on
with the moon
this month
in case anyone wants
an excuse for anythingMorning Poem #3
my main activity these days
is sweating at CVS
how long til there’s a word
for the freaking rock n roll high
that comes from taking your mask off
for 13 seconds until someone
with a bichon frise needs to walk by?
I don’t know where I stand
on the new taylor swift album yet
I listen to the one about cowboys
while messaging my psychiatrist
through a portal I fall asleep
before the seamless arrives
I’m getting bored of myself
are you?Morning Poem #4
Marilynne Robinson says the ordinary
demands unblinking attention
saturday I watched an entire season
of 90 day fiancé in one hearty
grass-fed organic sitting
that night I tell you I think
I need to stop drinking
you tell me I’m a good person
I run my fingers through your hair
it’s so clean
P.S. lil reminder: if u want to buy my book for someone as a holiday gift, i will send them a sexy lil receipt (since the book won’t arrive til feb) details here: https://sites.prh.com/a-sexy-little-holiday-receipt
<3
Thanks for reading MSLE <3 As always, My Sexy Little Email is free, but 100% of subscriptions go to The Loveland Foundation, which helps fund therapy for Black women and girls.
lol I’m from Arkansas and sorry no one kisses you at camp!! (idiots) if you have to stop there I highly recommend Fayetteville, every other part is kind of...just ok and much more racist! k bye