oook gather round my sexy lil emailers!!! here I am making the iconic choice to start writing my monday newsletter at 8:34PM. I only had 12 free hours to do it today, so I couldn’t bear to find the time. I’ve been back in new york for two weeks now and while it’s been fun spending $80 to drink three martinis outside, I do find myself yearning for my old life…singing my slutty songs in dimly lit bars, touching every item in the zara on 5th ave, not having to wash my hands after I pee…it’s the little things. I’m afraid I’ve slurped my way into a lil depressive episode and can’t seem to pull my way out. It’s a gorgeous cycle in which I start to feel bad then get mad at myself for feeling bad….lather/rinse/repeat vibes. I saw my healer today (as is my wont) and he suggested I quit drinking for a month…el o el. honey I’m sad enough I just might try it! So I’m home, sober, trying to write poems = the holy trinity. I’ve just emerged from a bath where I did not soap myself (got bored), but instead just kind of sat in the hot water and then stood up like a sad woman in a movie, but sweetie pie the theaters are Closed this is not a movie it is Reality, that nasty bitch! My healer, let’s call him Mitchell, says my heart is bigger than my body and my moods are out of control and that Demi Lovato is trying to reach out to me. All good news in my book! Speaking of my book (GENIUS SEGUE) I HAVE WRITTEN A BOOK OF POETRY !!! for Knopf. it comes out February 2021 and you can pre-order it here. How beyond is the cover? Mood as fuck as they say in the biZ. Jacket designed by the amazing Perry De La Vega (@perryndlv on insta) <3 and book written by ur girl citty cat cappuccino. It contains poems written as early as 2016 and as recent as last week! order while you’re young :)
now that we’re all feeling moody and blue-text-y here’s a few poems I just squirted out. I promise I won’t be as mopey next week. well….I’ll try. when taylor said “this is me trying…” I felt that !!! I do love yall so. Stay positive. Check in on your friends etc XO
hot bath poem
I love my patient boyfriend
& my big heart
I love the rain & screaming
in the bike lane
I get nauseous when I meditate
& want to feel so much better
can you tell I had a bunless burger tonight?
october 12 poem
I got taco bell the night before I voted for Hillary
does that make you feel something?
everyone says it’s boring
to hear other people
talk about their dreams
I’m laughing I’m drinking
a cocktail from a can
it doesn’t seem fair
that things can still happen
while I sleep
I should write one more poem
I can’t fit into my favorite madewells
and there’s definitely something going on with my teeth
we’re all watching emily in paris & no one knows why
anything happens & that’s the problem
my lover is out of town & I miss him so much
Mitchell says these next four months
are about me learning how to sit on the couch
should I call it a sofa to seem interesting?
should I volunteer at something?
I know things are better when I don’t drink
but that doesn’t mean they’re good
THANK u for reading <3 OH ALSO — I’m doing my SHOW LIVE from Club Cumming in NYC on Wednesday Night (oct 14) and you can get tix here ! The lineup features Michelle Collins, Eliot Glazer, Drew Anderson, Karolena Theresa & more <3 LIVE MUSIC as well from David Dabbon
Hope to see y’all Wednesday! In the meantime, stay sexy, stay emailing. LUV U
<3
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