Welcome to the second issue of “My Sexy Little Email!” I love this town!!! (by which I mean NYC, LA, Houston, and wherever anyone on this email list is at this one, singular moment in T). Suddenly, it has become My Birthday Month (TM) and Life, herself is continuing to be a true randomista. I hope wherever you are, you are safe, healthy, and slurping down an ice cool bev while looking at a tree. Here’s a few poems for you:
poem I wrote after the new taylor swift album came out thank god
I haven’t seen the sun in four days
and my dad just said he was proud of me
for finishing the leftovers
mailing letters is a great way to feel like
you’re from before
when no one could google you and see that you
did acapella in college
one time I wanted so bad
to fall in love that I did it
what’s it called when you have a sixth sense that your ex is engaged?
poem I wrote after I did four lunges and one side plank
I haven’t had my period in what doctors are calling “too long”
and my left breast hurts on the left side
I’m trying not to think about my body so much
which is a great way to think about it all the time
I just refilled my birth control
which I think is making me gain weight
but I love to get filled up with cum
do I strike you as an academic?
I got water in my vibrator and now it is too loud to use
you say I should be allowed to get water on it and I agree
but I can’t change the past, apparently
all I do is go to the grocery
and look at the heirloom tomatoes
I always pick the ones
that are just about
to go bad
poem I wrote after my dad told me to shave my legs
I just watched a program about people in massachusetts
who saw a UFO on September 1 in 1969
did you see that one?
It’s on netflix
I’m not scared of aliens
but I have a recurring dream that a girl with long wet hair
in a blue dress is chasing me through a shopping mall.
the clothes at abercrombie kids never fit me
and that’s kind of why I do standup comedy
In college I went to a workout class
and the instructor told me to go lower
and I was like I know
I know I should go lower
but everything is so much harder
in practice
poem I wrote after I had the strangest urge to confide in dear friends beneath starlight
I just took a pregnancy test to feel alive
and all I got was this rush of adrenaline
and piss on my hands
I don’t think I’d take my daughter
to get her nails done
if I were a mother
she can do that with her friends
if she wants
I’d like to have kids at 35
so I can start wearing graceful linen sacks
and calling everyone “darling”
I’d like to wear lipstick and lean on a built-in bookcase
and tell you I like Helen Frankenthalther
and did you know that’s her painting
on the Renata Adler novel I told you to read
the one I never finished
because I needed to have sex
with someone who lived on
the upper west side
can you grab some ice?
I like ice in my wine
poem I wrote after I texted my therapist that I’m not pregnant
all this hair grows out of the mole on my face
and I’ve got an ulcer from being alive
I’m so smart and beautiful
and terrible and horny
someone who called me a cunt online
just liked my tweet about feminism
but if I think about you laughing at six flags
I still feel so in love with the whole world
and that day we waited so long to sit in the front car
that by the time it was our turn it was night
and dark and raining but we still got on the ride
…
thank you for reading “My Sexy Little Email!” I’m currently writing to you from my parents house in Texas where I randomly lived for 18 years of my life. Sometimes I will forget I grew up in Texas, but then I’ll find a monogrammed towel wrap in my closet. did someone say AdOrKaBLE???
if u enjoyed this or even if you didn’t (sad!) consider becoming a paying subscriber as 100% of proceeds go to The Loveland Foundation, an organization that funds therapy sessions for Black women and girls. More info here: https://thelovelandfoundation.org/
all my love,
catherine
I’m loving ur newsletter Cat!!! Thank u for sharing this with the world ❤️ I was so sad that u didn’t mention Córdoba, Argentina among the example cities where ppl could be reading ur poems. But then I thought, I should just tell her I’m here! So I am doing it now xx
“but I love to get filled up with cum
do I strike you as an academic?“
Yes.