I don’t know what to say…it happened to me…I joined TikTok. It started Friday night…I was in hotel lockdown (as is my wont) and I thought…what are these gals up to??? It was around 7pm…I took a bath…slurped a martini…and got to work…
And this is my first time looking up from my phone since that moment!!! I have to say…it’s such a wonderful website. I sound 100 years old but really everyone is so Creative and Talented and Charming on that website!!! I just love it there. I know there is a dark side to it where like 19 year old girls just look hot and do like…easy dances??? but my algorithm knows that is simply not for me…
So far this is my favorite TikTok and I’ve watched it hmmm 10 million times?
^^^ it’s called being a genius
anyways, I’ve made a few videos at this point…you can check out the extent of my oeuvre on my TikTok page here…I’m the new girl in town…be gentle with me sweetie:
featuring hits such as:
BLAME IT ON THE MOON
I GOT SO DEPRESSED I FORGOT ABOUT SEX
PERFECT PERSONALITY
POISON MY BODY
INTERESTING GIRL
Other than that, the big news is that my lockdown period is over BUT it is literally snowing and everything in Toronto is closed LMAO so…I haven’t really left my room…I like it here now this is my new life and I feel normal about that. I’m here working for about a week and then I will return to NYC where I belong ! I’m on my period for the third time this month which is cool and I think it is cute when my period blood looks like poop (google says it is normal) ANyWAYS i also picked at a zit til it became actually a wound and that’s kind of whats going on with moi…also every few days I remember about masturbation and I do that with myself…
Of course I had grand designs about what I’d accomplish during my time in lockdown…I brought 9 books (2 memoirs, 1 essay collection, 1 self-help book, 3 novels, The Artist’s Way, and a DBT Skills Training workbook) anyways I haven’t opened any of them :) thats not completely true. I did read chapter one of the Artist’s Way but it hasn’t changed my whole life yet?? SOS
I have been watching Friday Night Lights and Ozark (full Boomer vibes) and have ordered from the same Mediterranean restaurant 8 times! This is the most boring newsletter I have ever written…..I think TikTok is destroying my brain I really keep trying to delete it off my phone but I keep re-downloading it because it makes me laugh laugh laugh alone in my room and there are sooo many cute animals and also food tips! and also!!! I am learning that there is no such thing as good foods and bad foods and I can actually eat whatever I want if I want it— can you tell I just had therapy?
Now…for a poem…hmm…haven’t written many of those this week…I’ve been too busy working on my Toks!!! I’ll leave you with this one. I’m having one of those days where I’m comparing myself to everyone I’ve ever met and feeling like a loser lol why am i like this??? WrOnG AnSweRS OnLy!!!!!
APRIL POEM
it’s snowing I’m having
a bad day because someone
I love & admire is having
a good one. it’s fun I’ve
taken to oat milk & smoked
fish I’m not joking I’m
convinced if I could learn
all the names of all the flowers
it would save my life
LOVE YOU,
Catherine
Thanks for reading sweeties. As always, this newsletter is free, but if you subscribe, 100% of proceeds go towards The Loveland Foundation, which helps fund therapy for Black women and girls.
and you are also linked to a Guardian article on Substack! https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/apr/29/substack-news-writing-pyramind-scheme
Love you cat!!!