happy monday my sweeties!!! the rumors are true…I’ve found myself in california against all odds. my lover & I have embarked on a crossroads-era-britney-inspired hearty, organic, grass-fed road trip. we left utah (where I famously Flew Off A Cliff) on thursday and thought it would be chic to drive to the desert in the midst of a life-altering heat wave. when we arrived in hell, the AC in our airbnb was broken, which I obviously handled with grace & humility. after 2 Catherine-Approved meltdowns (one included stubbing my toe and screaming “I’m so sick of this!” the “this” I was referring to? being alive I guess!) we ended up having a gorgeous time in Instagram’s Joshua Tree. I even tried the drug mushrooms!
Famously I’m too scared to do drugs, but want to be invited if you’re going to do them, but now that my life & the world at large are crumbling Before These Hazel Eyes, I’m open to changing the way that my brain is. During doing the drug mushrooms I felt very at peace & thought it was rly cool that my hands were in a selfie I took (see image below). My lover & I climbed upon a cliff and got naked next to what in retrospect was probably not human shit, but rather from a creature that I am glad we did not meet. (no offense to said creatch) The sunset was spectacular, but we both just kind of kept staring at my lover’s dick. “Maybe WE…are the real art…” I said into the sunburned haze of sky before laughing and saying “I keep trying to sound like I’m on drugs!!!” what is it like to be “cool?” sound off in the comments!
After our desert adventure (which I WISH was a Dessert Adventure, am I right honey?!??!! fyi I’m laughing so hard at this joke my eyes are bleeding) we drove to Los Angeles, or as I like to call it, America’s saddest haunted house. So I’m typing this from L.A., where I just informed my lover that my therapist is on vacation for 2 weeks. He stared at me blankly… “so you’re not going to do therapy for 2 weeks?" he cooed like an injured baby bird. “yeah,” I said, sounding like a famous, but approachable supermodel. He then went for a walk to process this information and I Logged On to type this newsletter for you! I hope wherever you are you are you are safe, happy, healthy, and thinking about the time I sobbed because I didn’t get into the school talent show for doing a one-person dance to “Girls Just Want To Have Fun.”
~ * Girl Trying to Feel Like She is On Drugs, Self-Portrait, 2020 *~
Without further ado, here are this week’s Monday Poems, lovingly illustrated by the amazing Lulu Krause, who you should follow on instagram ASAP.
I’m also so thrilled to share that I’ve been doing this newsletter for one month and thanks to all you beautiful subscribers we have raised $4194.00 for The Loveland Foundation!!!
y’all are amaze — pls spread the word & tell your friends about
My Sexy Little Email <3
if u enjoyed this or even if you didn’t (sad!) consider becoming a paying subscriber as 100% of proceeds go to The Loveland Foundation, an organization that funds therapy
sessions for Black women and girls. <3
All My Love,
Catherine